Stop asking me so many questions!!
Do you remember when you were young and your parents would bombard you with 100 questions after you returned home from somewhere?
“How was school? “
“Who was there? “
“Did you talk to anyone? “
“What did you play at recess?”
I remember this well! Though in fairness to my own parents, I have caught myself doing the same with my kids.
Too many questions can put children on the spot & put them under pressure to give a response.
And for some children, answering questions can be made even more challenging if they haven’t yet learnt how to answer more complex questions (why, how, when). I see this a lot; adults asking tonnes of questions to even the youngest of kids.
We ask questions to find out information. But asking too many can actually cause the opposite - stop kids from wanting to share information with us.
So how do we get our children to talk? How can we find out about their day?
Try making comments instead! It’s a simple hack that I often use when chatting to my own children after kinder or school. I also make note to use it in therapy when I’m building rapport with a child who is particularly reserved or even has suspected selective mutism.
So ...
Instead of saying, “Who did you play with?" You could try, “I saw Jack in the playground.”
Instead of saying, “How did you go?” you could try, “You look happy.”
Instead of saying, “What did you play on?” you could try, “That swing looked fun”
It doesn’t sound like much, but honestly, it can make the difference between a child talking to you or one who remains silent.
About the writer:
Lauren is a speech pathologist who has over 15 years experience working with children and teenagers who present with a range of learning and communication difficulties. Lauren is passionate about helping others and loves to find simple and creative ways to make learning fun!
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