My child is selfish!
YES, most children are!
Being selfish is essentially the process of thinking only of yourself. It takes many years before kids learn to see the world through another person’s eyes This skills usually takes off around 4-5 years BUT continues to develop way into the teen years and beyond!
This is called PERSPECTIVE TAKING and surely is one of the most important lessons for us all to learn.
We share this planet with 7.8 billion people so we need to learn to see things from another person’s point of view so we can get along, work with others, form friendships and show kindness to those around us.
How can our children learn to see the world through someone else’s eyes?
️> Talk about feelings - tell kids your feelings & name feelings in others (books / tv / people around you). Go beyond “happy and sad” and expand that emotional vocabulary. Use words like “confused, disappointed, embarrassed and nervous”.
> Become interested in what others could be thinking. Ask your child, “What are you thinking?” or “Wow, what was that like?” or wonder about others, “I wonder what they were thinking when they did that?”
> Model! Monkey see, monkey do! Kids notice what we do and if they see we are people that think of others, they’ll hopefully begin to see its importance.
> Talk out loud so kids can hear your thinking. Say things like, “I think we may get wet outside. Perhaps we should pack an umbrella in case”. We do SO MUCH doing for our kids without explaining the thoughts behind our actions - this means they miss out on learning some perspective taking!
> Play games together - boardgames, card games, LEGO, sports ... games that allow for lots of chances to work together; problem solve, negotiate, hear each other’s ideas as well as share their own.
About the writer:
Lauren is a speech pathologist who has over 15 years experience working with children and teenagers who present with a range of learning and communication difficulties. Lauren is passionate about helping others and loves to find simple and creative ways to make learning fun!
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