Separation at the school gate

Does your child find it tricky to separate from you? My 9 year old seemed excited to begin with but now the reality of those long school days, backed up by more long school days, has well and truly kicked in!

Separation anxiety is tough and we must gently support our kids through this. There’s been some tears in our house and voicing, “I don’t want to go to school”, “It’s too long”, “I don’t want you to leave me.” When saying goodbye, here’s some useful ideas to consider using to help remind your child all day that they are loved and cared for.

Early Primary Age
Draw a small heart on both your hands to act as a reminder that you love them and you’re still here despite not being nearby.

Read the book The Invisible String. A great book! The concept is that we are all tied together by invisible strings - so even when we are far from those we love, our string will remind us we are loved and not alone!

XOXO Anxiety Saver was one of the reasons for coming up with this tag. Little reminders to place on your child’s bag, or even sew into their pocket, so they can always remember you!

Older Primary Age

Calm mornings can really make a difference so organising lunchboxes, school bags, homework and clothing the night before can help to create that calm. When things have been left to the last minute or when the adult is busy and distracted, this can add to the feeling of stress before school.

Music playing in the car on the way to school can help anxiousness.

Chewy or sucking on a mint can help to regulate emotions and calm uneasy feelings.

Speaking to the classroom teacher about a plan where you can take your child in a little bit earlier to avoid the difficult separation in the playground. It can be useful to have the teacher assign a task for your child to do. It doesn’t have to be complicated. My child has helped to rearrange books, unstack chairs, reset the day’s visual classroom routine, sort out the teacher’s messy drawers. The task does not matter, it’s mere the act of setting their mind on something other than those anxious thoughts and feelings.

Fidgets in pockets. Finding one that is small and can fit inside a pocket so fingers can easily play with it, can help to calm the nervous system.


About the writer:

Lauren is a speech pathologist who has over 15 years experience working with children and teenagers who present with a range of learning and communication difficulties. Lauren is passionate about helping others and loves to find simple and creative ways to make learning fun! 

The blog posts featured on this site are written on behalf of Remindables and are intended for educational purposes only and to provide general information and an understanding on a particular topic. By using this blog site, you must be aware that the information shown is not to be used as a substitute for therapy advice and you should therefore seek the opinion of suitable professionals to assist you. The views expressed here are the author’s views alone and not those of their employer or others, unless clearly stated. ⠀⠀⠀
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